askhircine said: [hircine presents himself]

[And then, they yiffed.]

askhircine sent: Your pheromones tell my nose that you are in season

I’m always in season.

Anonymous sent: DO YOU LIKE THE BOOTY

What do you think, simpleton.

askhircine sent: Did you know that I tricked EVERYONE into thinking I was Kynareth? Even that Morihaus guy. I fucked like ten people too and they said I was like 7/10 beat that.

You left out a zero. Like 7/100, more like. Morihaus is easy to trick though, the guy’s a fucking cow, he’s not clever. But sure, regale me with this glorious tale.

daedricprinceofwishes sent: OI. SANGERS. Did you miss me?

daedricprinceofwishes:

ask-sanguine:

daedricprinceofwishes:

ask-sanguine:

daedricprinceofwishes:

ask-sanguine:

No.

You suck, Sanguine.

You’d like it if I did.

URGH SANGUINE you’re so gross stop it you’re making me look uncool.

No, I’m not making you look anything. You are uncool, a fucking loser nerd.

YOU’RE A FUCKING LOSER NERD

Whatever, punk. [He puts on his aviator sunglasses, zips up his leather jacket, & hops on his harley with biker babe Hircine on the back, before pulling a totally sick wheelie, & driving away.]

daedricprinceofwishes sent: OI. SANGERS. Did you miss me?

daedricprinceofwishes:

ask-sanguine:

daedricprinceofwishes:

ask-sanguine:

No.

You suck, Sanguine.

You’d like it if I did.

URGH SANGUINE you’re so gross stop it you’re making me look uncool.

No, I’m not making you look anything. You are uncool, a fucking loser nerd.

askhircine sent: Hey. Hey you. Do you remember that time when I tricked EVERYONE.

askhircine:

ask-sanguine:

ask-sanguine:

You mean when you pulled one over on the monkey empire? Yeah, I remember. It wasn’t too bad.

That’s bullshit, I don’t even care about the rest of your rebuttal. Your dick is garbage. My dick? My dick is infinite in it’s majesty. There’s no beginning or end to my dick. It’s eternal. A thick, veiny, throbbing continuum against which you can measure all of creation.


My dick is flawless. Fuck you.

Sounds like someone is self conscious about their dick, going to that length to prove how “great” it is.

[He headbutts Sanguine, a display of male dominance.] 

[Sanguine cockslaps him, also a display of male dominance. But a better one.] I hate you, you stupid fuckdog.

daedricprinceofwishes sent: OI. SANGERS. Did you miss me?

daedricprinceofwishes:

ask-sanguine:

No.

You suck, Sanguine.

You’d like it if I did.

askhircine sent: Hey. Hey you. Do you remember that time when I tricked EVERYONE.

askhircine:

ask-sanguine:

You mean when you pulled one over on the monkey empire? Yeah, I remember. It wasn’t too bad.

[He continues squishing Sanguine’s cheeks, because he sounds hilarious when he’s trying to talk with them being squished like that. Also, because it aggravates Sanguine, and there’s nothing better than an aggravated Daedric Prince in their own plane of Oblivion.]

You’re a gigantic pissbaby who is just jealous that I tricked everyone and you didn’t because your pranks are really bad in comparison to my own. Also, your dick is small and mine is way bigger. 

That’s bullshit, I don’t even care about the rest of your rebuttal. Your dick is garbage. My dick? My dick is infinite in it’s majesty. There’s no beginning or end to my dick. It’s eternal. A thick, veiny, throbbing continuum against which you can measure all of creation.

My dick is flawless. Fuck you.

daedricprinceofwishes sent: OI. SANGERS. Did you miss me?

No.